What up yall…with all the seriousness of last week I feel the need for a top ten. Everybody knows I love the Hip Hop. I also like to step out once in a while to have a drink or two. In most of the spots I frequent there is usually music from a DJ. Some places really dope music (i.e. Lounge of Three in DC), some not so much, but I am really picky when it comes to my music. Every once in a while you will get a record that may make the listener or listeners a little more…aggressive. There are records that almost guarantee somebody’s gonna get stole on. It is in the spirit of these records I present the “Top Ten Songs to Punch Somebody in the Face to”:
10. Slam – Onyx: One of the best joints by the official nasty niggas. When this joint came on at the 8th grade dance I saw the first black mosh pit. Nobody smiled lots of elbowing and pushing. Luckily the MPs were there.
9. Ruff Ryders Anthem – DMX: STOP…DROP…SHUT ‘EM DOWN OPEN UP SHOP! Oh no indeed. Brother Earl gets heads amped on this one. This would give me the “Gator-From-Jungle-Fever-Eyes” and I’d bite that bottom lip…boooooooy oh boy. I’m punchin’ everybody, dudes, chicks, niggas in wheelchairs. “Mind yo business lady!!!!!” ← Good advice.
8. Damn – The Youngbloodz feat. Lil’ Jon: The “featuring Lil’ Jon” here is a dead giveaway. Anything with the “King of Crunk” on it will get you mollywhoped anywhere they’re serving white liquor. Couple that with a hook that says, and I quote “If you don’t give a damn, we don’t give a fuck; don’t start no shit won’t be no shit” and you have, what the Anne Arundel County Police call, a potential problem.
7. Never Scared – Bonecrusher: “So I’m outside of da club and you think I’m a puuuuuuuunk, So I go to my loaded tech 9 that’s off in the truuuuuuuunk, I told that muthafucka, I ain’t never scared”…that’s the hook. You how dudes be in the club and wanna “act out” the lyrics…if they act this one out on the dance floor some furniture gonna get moved.
6. Bia Bia – Lil’ Jon and the Eastside Boyz feat. Chyna Whyte Too $hort and Ludacris: Another entry from Jonathan Smith and crew. Bia Bia is another way to say bitch. Imagine one crew next to another singing this song and looking in the other crews direction. It’s got to go down, and it will.
5. Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing To F’ With – Wu-Tang Clan: If you want beef then bring the ruckus, Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with”. I’m beginning to see a pattern, lots of easily acted out violence. Hey, this joint even has the “F word” in the title. Somebody is getting’ pepper spayed.
4. Out My Way Bitch – Baltimore Club Music: This is Charm City’s entry to the list. I grew up on Scottie B and DJ Boobie (On the cluuuuuub tip) tapes. When I got old enough to club, this joint was still getting play. It never failed to get a nigga gut-punched for breathin’.
3. Brooklyn Zoo – Old Dirty Bastard: Russell Jones was always good at getting a reaction from his listeners, whether it’s comedy or violence. The intro here though…it sure makes me wanna fight. “He ain’t sayin’ nothin’ F him”. Word Dirt, word.
2. Down 4 My N’s – Snoop Dogg feat. C-Murda and Magic: This is Mrs. Your Opinion is Wrong’s favorite on the list. My wife loves this song, not sure what that says about her but I love her anyway. Another one of those simple Beats By The Pound tracks that caught on in the late 90’s. It’s one of those records where it disses another crew and when two groups stand next to each other on the dance floor at the spot with this record comes on: instant fisticuffs.
And the number one record, that’ll have you down the bookings when the DJ spins it down My Place or Select…
1. Ante Up – M.O.P.: If you’ve ever seen this record performed live there is no description needed. If not, let me just say, panda-frickin-monium breaks out EVERY TIME this record is played anywhere. Live, a black mosh pit with liquor and weed smoke breaks out every time. Billy Danze and Lil’ Fame composed the beat move anthem here. Paring that band hit with the screaming of the Mash Out Posse was a work of violent genius. This song is Americana.
So there you have it, songs to get punched in the face to. You gotta love it. Honorable mentions to Tear the Club Up, ‘Bout It, and The Day the Niggas Took Over. It’s a rainy day, but the Cowboys won on Sunday and next Thursday is Thanksgiving…I love it, and if you aint down with that…You Opinion Is Wrong. Peace