What up yall.  Is it me, or does it seem like Hollywood is running out of ideas?  Remake after remake is hitting the silver screen.  Some good, some are Miami Vice starring Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx.  I’m all for nostalgia but some of this stuff either shouldn’t be touched or needed to be done by different people.    I then thought to myself, I could cast the remake of the next 80’s flick or TV show.  I figure I’d try my hand on here and get your opinion.  I may do this every other week or so.  I’m gonna start with my favorite 80’s joint:  Barry Gordy’s The Last Dragon.  I LOVE this movie; it was one of the first flicks I saw in the movies.  To tell you how long ago it was, I saw this in Jumpers Theater when they showed new movies.  Man, I’m old.

Anyway, I figure the Kung-Fu kids of Harlem need an update, I’m on the job.  The important stuff…it HAS to stay in New York & Daddy Green’s Pizza still has to be in business.  You need some updates.  Instead of the King of Co-Op Arcades, Eddie Arkadian is the creator of the leading American based home video game console, “The Arkstation”(go with it, some of this is supposed to be comically bad).  Dance Shows are no longer viable so Ms. Laura Charles is now the host of 106 & Park to keep it Harlem.     Bruce Leroy is your everyday average weirdo/virgin with a passion and knack for kung-fu.  Long story short, nearing the end of his training with his karate teacher, Leroy, son to a pizza shop owner and brother of the coolest little dude in Harlem, seeks the “final level” to becoming a kung-fu master.  Trying to deceive his way his way into seeing the master he needs, and I hate to use this word but it’ll make the movie more appealing, Swag lessons from his little bro.  In return Leroy has to help little brother sneak in to see his lady love Laura Charles and get on Freestyle Friday.  Meanwhile, video game king Eddie Arkadian is trying to get, Angie Vee,  his girlfriend/client new single some blaze on 106 and wants to set up a meeting with Laura, but she won’t see him because she “don’t do payola.”  Old Ed isn’t taking no for an answer and sends Rocko and the rest of the goons to kidnap Ms. Charles and do some ol’ skool persuading.  Luckily Bruce Leroy is just sneaking Richie in and is waiting for him to come back out, and sees the kidnapping and foils the plan.  Eddie learns of this and enlists the help of the resident King of the Harlem Dope Boys and Shogun of Harlem Sho’Nuff.  Mr. Nuff is already looking for Leroy Green because, to quote Crunch, “He is the only one standing between Sho’ and total supremacy.”  We know how it ends, Eddie and Sho’ go down, Leroy gets the girl and attains “The Glow” from the final level and Ritchie wins Freestyle Friday six weeks and signs to MMG. THE END.  Credits.  Fade to black.

Cast:

“Bruce” Leroy Green……..Tristan Wilds

Laura Charles…………………Rihanna

Sho’ Nuff………………………….Booker Huffman aka Booker T

Eddie Arkadian……….………Paul Giamatti

Richie Green…………….…….Bobb’e J. Thompson

Rock…………………………….……Chuck Zito

Angie Vee………………………..Lindsay Lohan

Daddy Green……………………Charles S. Dutton

Mamma Green……………………….Ella Joyce

Sho’ Nuf’s Goons

Crunch…………………………………..Theo Rossi

Cyclone………………………………….Danny Trejo

Beast……………………………………..Chad Coleman

Loca……………………………………….Michelle Rodriguez

Snoop………………………..…………..Felicia Pearson

Randi……………………………………..Taryn Manning

Featuring Taimak as “The Master”

There you have it, my interpretation of one of my favorite movies ever.  My Cowboys are 2-1 and playing good defense, we have the Da Bears on Sunday at home.  This was a great flick to begin with.  It is a great flick period.  If you disagree…your Opinion Is Wrong.  Peace

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