People that know me know I’m a big wrestling fan. Not that “real” Greco roman crap, I’m talking about that steroiding, chair swinging, Hogan, Austin, Rock, punch-you-in-the-eye-without-ever-leaving-a-bruise wrasslin! In pro wrestling there is a lot of terminology used from the old days when most wrestling shows were held in traveling carnivals. This “Carney” speak continues to be used today. For example, a shoot fighter is someone who can really grapple and really hurt you, to shoot is to tell the truth, the opposite of a shoot is a work. A “good guy” usually was good looking and clean shaven, they were known as baby faces, face for short, the opposite (a bad guy for you slow folks) is called a heel. I use such terms often, so I present the Top Ten Movie Heels (Villains).
10. Big Red (The Five Heartbeats) – MY OFFICES HOURS ARE FROM 9-5 MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY!!!! This was one cold hearted red dude. He Vanilla Iced Flash over the balcony, turned ol’ Eddie Kane Jr on Jimmy and the Heartbeats, tried to muscle Jimmy out of his contract with the group, and when he wouldn’t sign over the group he had Jimmy killed. The thing is none of that got him into the top 10, but when homie tried to holla at Eleanor while her husband wasn’t even cold yet in the funeral…boy oh boy…that a cold cat…freezing.
9. Agent Smith (The Matrix Movies) – This was another cold calculated cat. Always in a neat suit and tie, with the smooth shades on. Always stuck to formalities. “Mr. Anderson this, Mr. Anderson that” but was mean with the hands, and quite handy with a Desert Eagle, or as I like to call it, that Desi Arnes. Only agent to make it into the real world and gave neo a heck of a fight in it too…took them eyes out. A very cool/slick bad guy, not to mention this is also the guy who played Red Skull in captain America and voiced Megatron in the Transformers movies. He definitely deserves a spot here.
8. Mista (The Color Purple) – 1st of all yea, my people, the word ‘The’ is in front of the title (I love my people). Here we have Mister, technically Albert, but we all know him as Mister. This SOB, tried to get Celie’s prettier sister, but ended up with her. Next thang we know he is on top of her a gruntin and a sweatin. After a life time of taking care of Mister’s kids and cooking and cleaning, he brings in a woman to the house that he obviously drools over. But the proof that he belongs on this list lies in one question. When she was shaving Mister on the front porch, what did YOU want to happen?
7. Tony Montana (Scarface) – THEE bad guy! You’re all welcome! Probably the most (usually bad) imitated villain in a movie. This was the most loveable coke head ever, word to pookie. You wanted him to win, except he did a few things that are a dead giveaway as far as him being a bad guy. One his moms didn’t like him, can’t trust a guy whose own mamma don’t like him. Two, he liked his sister a little too much, just weird. But the kicker was when he killed Manolo, his dude, his right hand, this was worse than Nino (honorable mention) killing G-money. That’s why he’s here, say hello on more time.
6. Lex Luthor (Superman movies) – Both Gene Hackman and Kevin Spacey played this guy. Dastardly dude. Did it all tried to get aliens to kill Supe, nuke the west coast, and makin all types of kryptonite tools and jewelry to hurt out buddy Kal-El. For this he makes the list.
5. Nino Brown (New Jack City) – This dude here was cold and was led by ambition. He was gonna take tha Cash Money Brothers to the top…and he did. But then his “brothers” became employees…everything was mine mine mine. Even G-Money’s girl, that was supposed to be his ace. Sure, she was a jumpoff but it showed how he would do his mans and nem. But two things put him in the top 5. The first is the way he snitched on that stand to MISS Hawkins and even worse when he used that little girl as a human shield at the wedding with Keith Sweat…SMG…just crazy.
4. Darth Vader (The Star Wars Series) – Anakin Skywalker started off good. He got consumes on control and his heart and it let him fall in the wrong crowd…that dark side. Palpatine had him wide open for evil. He chopped his own kids hand off…c’mon what kind of daddy is that.
3. The Joker (Batman) – A Classic villain. Whether it was Cesar Romero, Jack Nicholson or Heath Ledger (the best joker), he was one of the best foils for a superhero. Didn’t always have a rhyme or reason for being bad, he just enjoyed it. It seemed as if he wrecked, killed and destroyed because he was good at it. This kind of is the scariest type.
2. Bishop (Juice) – Son…the locker scene…wow. That’s really all I need to say. He killed his own man and kissed his moms at the wake, nah yo that aint right. He almost took out his own crew; shot Steel killed Raheem and tried his best to knock off Q. But any argument against him this high on the list is shut down by this: You know what? Last time you said that, I was kinda trippin’ right? But now, you right. I am crazy. And you know what else? I don’t give a fuck. I don’t give a fuck about you. I don’t give a fuck about Steel. I don’t give a fuck about Raheem, either. I don’t give a fuck about myself. Look, I ain’t shit. And you less of a man than me, so as soon as I figure you ain’t gon be shit, blaow! So be it. You remember that, motherfucka. ‘Cause I’m the one you need to be looking out for…partna!
AND THE WINNER FOR THE GREATES MOVIE HEEL OF ALL TIME IS *Drumroll*
1. The Police (Various Movies) – F the police, coming straight from the underground. They have been the bad guy in so many movies I just had to put them in general. There have been so many instances where the PO-PO just couldn’t keep their noses clean. So many characters getting their Vic Mackey on they had to win. Look at ‘Lonzo the ruthless, vicious vato, who had the hood on smash. He was that dude…til the end. Look at Harvey Keitel in Copland, he had a whole city on lock and created another whole town to keep the heat low. Son…Matt Damon in The Departed…wow. But my all time most hated cop…Homeboy that pulled over Tre’ and Ricky…this soliloquy that he started in the high pitch: You think you tough? Scared now, ain’t you? I like that. That’s why I took this job. I hate little motherfuckers like you. Little niggers, you ain’t shit! I could blow your head off with this Smith & Wesson and you couldn’t do shit. Think you tough? What set you from? Look like one of them Crenshaw mafia motherfuckers. Ayo Officer Coffey, Something wrong? Yeah. It’s just too bad you don’t know what it is…Brotha!
Well there you have it…not the greatest day in the word, but it’s full of opportunity. The sun is shining, my hat is fly and there are only 78 days left til Cowboys Football…yall aint with me?! then…Your Opinion Is Wrong Peace
RIP Miguel Anthony Bailey